What is self esteem
Self Esteem is about how well we think about ourselves, respect and value ourselves. It is the way we talk to ourselves on a day to day basis ie ‘self-talk’ and ‘inner dialogue’.
We all have a right to self-esteem, to be respected, and we are all of equal worth although it may not feel like that.
How does self esteem develop
We learn how to experience different levels of self esteem depending on:
- how we have experienced others around us in the past
- the way we experience others around us in the present
- the way others talk, behave and treat us
- the way we talk, behave and treat ourselves
- current and past negative experiences affect our self esteem and we can develop negative thinking and feelings.
- childhood experiences are fundamental in our learning about ourselves. However, our learning about ourselves is not always the truth about what we really are.
Improving Self Esteem
To improve our self-esteem we need to work on the following aspects of our lives:
- re-examining the negative beliefs we have about ourselves and where they have come from
- re-framing beliefs so that they are more supportive and self-caring
- noticing our inner negative dialogue and understanding where these unhelpful thoughts are coming from
- regaining our power of choice so that we do not continue to feed our negative thoughts and beliefs that do not serve us
- making informed choices about the people we connect to in our lives, are they supporting our well-being eg are they coming from a calm, respectful, kind and understanding place
- giving ourselves caring, accepting, supportive attention, and healing our inner child
- exploring your self-esteem issues in therapy for support towards change