WHO AM I: Identity and Values

Who Am I?

Sometimes in life we find ourselves asking Who Am I, we might try to be something we think we should be, or we might be confused about who we want to be?   Or we might question if what we are  is acceptable, right or good enough. Sometimes we are searching ‘out there’ for an answer, we constantly compare ourselves to others as to whether or not we are okay.  This can be anxiety provoking, confusing and stressful as the true answer can be found within.  It may be difficult to connect to that or stay connected to that inner knowing and this is where counselling can be supportive in connecting and accepting with our inner truth.

What are my values?

When we consider what we value in our lives, this is a way to understand more about who we are and our identity. What is important to us, what motivates us and what is meaningful to us will lead us to our values.  When we are considering our values and working in line with them we feel motivated, self esteem, fulfilled and with a purpose in life.  Life includes several areas of concern such as identity, home, career, finance, family, relationships, friends, romance, hobbies, etc.

Values can look like so many things such as: honesty, fun, learning, achievement, helping, creativity, respect, giving, security, success, adventure, sharing, understanding, peace, love, wealth, efficiency, teaching, consistency, trust, and endless more. Whatever they are, they are you’re truth and no-one can take them away from you whilst you want to keep them. When you connect to these, you are connecting to who you are as a person.  You can prioritise values, change values, and introduce new values as you change and grow as a person.

You are a unique individual

Everyone will have different and similar values, which are prioritised on an individual basis and this contributes to our uniqueness.  When we relate with people we like often these are people who have similar values, or values that we respect.  When we have difficulties with people in relationships and romance, sometimes there maybe differences in each others values, or the way we are prioritising them.  This is why it can be really important to fully understand someone elses values at the beginning of a relationship, so that we can have a realistic idea of how well suited we are  for each other.

Acceptance of values

Sometimes it is difficult to accept who we are especially if it is something different from the expectations of significant people in our lives, eg parents, teachers, mentors, friends, employers.  This can contribute to anxiety, stress, and other emotions which if needed can be supported and explored in counselling.  It can be useful to look at learnt beliefs and values, to see if they are conflicting with other beliefs and values that we have.

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